Mirror, mirror: what reflection really shows us
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, one definitions of the verb reflect is “To think carefully, especially about possibilities and opinions”. Example sentences include:
The manager demanded time to reflect (on what to do).
She reflected that this was probably the last time she would see him.
I did my graduate studies in Adult Learning. Most people in my field tend to pursue an MBA or a Management Degree instead. Although it aided me in understanding the client base I was working with at the time, what really drew me in was my interest in understanding the continuation of learning as an adult, the theories and of course the application. As it turned out, the program was less about following a set formula and much more about reflection. Every course required reflection papers (in AP style. Ugh). What I didn’t appreciate back then, value deeply now is how mastering reflection, and creating space for it has been instrumental in my career and my impact on others.
I am writing about reflection today because I hope you make it part of your daily ritual. In my humble opinion, there are a few important pre-requisites.
Don’t get stuck on the need to be right: It is easy to revisit past events where we clearly see our shortcomings and start making excuses. Many give up on self-reflection because they don’t like to confront their weaknesses. The ego feeds the need to be right but that can harm both ourselves and others.
Cognitive Distance: To reflect meaningfully, one needs sufficient separation from immediate problems to gain perspective. Why? Because with distance, you are less likely to harbor strong feelings attached to the focus of your reflection. Time allows you to observe impacts and outcomes more objectively, leading to a more balanced view.
Part of Schedule: Our days are dictated by our calendar(s) (My calendar could tell you a lot about me! I am sure yours could too). This means you must intentionally make time for reflection. Whether that time is 30 minutes, 10 minutes or folded into another activity (meditation, commute). One needs to move from operational to reflective thinking which requires protected time and place.
Choose your format: How do you prefer to process your thoughts? Do you like jotting them down on paper? Some people hate writing. Do you prefer a conversational format instead? For example, speaking to a friend, colleague, a coach instead? Or perhaps you reflect best while running or during another solo activity. Choose the method that fits you best.
Stay open to feedback: The ability to receive critical feedback without defensiveness is particularly challenging. External perspectives help identify blind spots in thinking and challenge assumptions that might otherwise go unexamined.
Of course, This list can go on and on.
You might be wondering, what is the benefit of self-reflection? We are conditioned to invest our time in areas which offer meaningful returns. For a return to be considered meaningful, it needs to be measured. While self-reflection may not yield immediate results, studies show that it leads to increased engagement and improved performance over time. Self-reflection can be as simple as asking yourself at the end of each day “who have I positively impacted today?” to reflecting on a professional relationship that completely went wrong.
The benefits for me have been:
A balanced perspective: We only have access to our own viewpoint. By reflecting and integrating feedback, we gain a more balanced perspective, which helps increase our understanding of others. This shift may prompt us to revise our approach, change direction, or seek different resources.
Increased engagement and meaning: People who reflect on how their work connects to personal values and organizational purpose experience greater engagement. This process of finding meaning helps them navigate inevitable (workplace) frustrations by maintaining perspective on the broader significance of their contributions.
Asking questions like "What have I accomplished today?" or "How have I impacted someone positively?" helps us better understand our own influence. Here are a number of questions to get you started:
What have I done today?
How have my actions helped others today?
How have I hindered others?
How have my actions helped me today?
What would have happened if I had not done any of this?
How do I feel about my approach to xyz?
What other approaches could I have taken?
Show up to yourself with curiosity
Improved performance through self-directed learning: Reflective employees gain deeper insights from both successes and setbacks. By analyzing what worked, what didn't, and why, they develop personalized performance strategies. The cycle of learning accelerates skill acquisition and helps them adapt more quickly to new challenges.
Perspective Taking: Reflective employees develop deeper understanding of diverse perspectives, offering opportunities to identify ways to bridge differences. This self-awareness helps them build broader, more effective coalitions.
Learning to approach yourself with curiosity may not come naturally – and that’s okay.
If you don’t know how to get started, find the process challenging, or don’t like confronting your weaknesses, I recommend you seek help from a coach, mentor, or a trusted colleague.
Research referenced on this post can be found:
